My Dearest Superbowl

My Dearest Superbowl,

I am writing to ask you a simple question: Why did you break my heart?

No, it wasn't because the Eagles didn't play-- that was expected.  And it was a little due to the fact that the best performance you could find was Madonna whom which is so old you needed to give her some famous escorts like Nikki Minaj, Ce Lo Green, and MIA just so that the newer generations could follow your music without the rap or cursing. (And for the record I'm not even sure many people know MIA anymore after she really did go MIA after having a baby. Where does she even live? Like... England? Whatever)

I was really hurt and let down great degrees when you decided to make every commercial about a car and/or it was inspirational. Sometimes even like.. an inspirational car.

The only reason many of us watch the Superbowl is for your commercials!

You used to crack me up, you used to make me smile, you used to touch my heart with ever punch line.

What happened to you? I thought we had a good thing going on. Did I do something wrong? I just don't understand why you would do something like this to me.

I mean... I understand you're getting old. What are you like 48 now? But just because you're getting up there doesn't mean that you still can't keep your spunk and attraction. I mean look at Madonna! (Minus the attraction...)

I hope you take this letter not as a desperate plea for my affection again but as a car driving butt loads of inspiration to try harder next year..

Sincerely with less love,
Kelsey
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Wishing you would have laughed more due to the famous Superbowl commercials but still thankful for the night of laughter due to wings, friends, and cookies: Story of my life.